You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
