Got a toothbrush?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
