I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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