I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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