I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
