So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
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Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize