there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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