In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We named our party play list daddy issues
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
