NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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