I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
