i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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