I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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