i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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