ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
