Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
smell my finger.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
