sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
