You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
