so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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