their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
