I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she looked like the before picture.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
