Sry I called you an 8
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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