I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
