Kareoke will never be a sober sport
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit