My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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