I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
