Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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