I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
