No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
