tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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