I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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