Its about making memories worth repressing
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
