My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
