I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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