Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
