the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
