Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
