If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
