This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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