My room smells like vodka and shame
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
