She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
