Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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