Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
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Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize