his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize