i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
