How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize