if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she looked like the before picture.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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