I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
