I puked a lego.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
