wakey wakey hands off snakey
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
