Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
