Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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