he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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