dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
