You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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