I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
