Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No I am not eating basil off your cock
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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