thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
