He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
