i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
