dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
