found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
