I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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