This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
