I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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