I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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