hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
