Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
