Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
