it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
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Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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